The Why
I’ve been putting this off… I know why…
Because I hate reliving it.
And it’s a daily battle.
So… WHY I started Crafting.
To occupy my time really.
Two years ago I married the man of my dreams and life was great.
We found out we were going to have ourselves a honeymoon baby.
I was uber stoked.
A mommy… My biggest dream.
But not all dreams come true when you want them too…
SO long story short…
I had what is called an Ectopic pregnancy
(or in lamen terms: a tubal pregnancy)
Either way… not good.
I had to have emergency surgery.
My right fallopian was removed due to damage.
We were told to wait 6 months and if we wanted…
Try again.
Good ole BC
We waited…
We weren’t in a hurry.
Two months before our one year anniversary
We decided to start trying…
They told us it would take awhile.
About eight months later…
I started to have some back pain,
Ended up in the ER,
And being told I was six weeks pregnant.
I cried
(I think I scared the nurse, he started to panic…haha)
Now, because I had a history of a tubal they wanted me to have an ultra-sound
RIGHT AWAY.
I went to my doctors
(saw the nurses)
The did blood work but couldn’t do an ultra-sound.
I guess because I had already had it happen once…
I thought the worst would happen.
Another ectopic.
So I just waited.
That night.
Terrible pain…
Back to the ER…
The ultra-sound tech confirmed it.
I was to have surgery in the next two hours.
I think I died a little inside that day.
Something I knew was right…
That was suppose to happen to a husband and a wife…
How could I screw it up?
What was I doing wrong?
Why couldn’t my body get the pregnancy where it was suppose to be to grow?
Those questions aren’t answered.
The doctors are baffled by the fact that I’ve had Two.
Apparently that’s not normal.
I’m a freak.
And our only option to have children is through IVF
SO…
I spent a lot of time depressed,
Crying,
Pitying myself,
And trying to figure out why.
When I stumbled across a few blogs who changed my life.
I’m much better now…
And try every day to be optimistic and not hit insensitive people.
Which happens more often than you think.
(people being insensitive...not me hitting them... I wish)
But I accept everything and know that there is a reason.
So there you have it.
The WHY I started crafting and blogging about it.
Thanks for reading.
(if you still are… you officially just became awesome)
This is ME…
Welcome to my world!
